No Reason

Not sure why I’m writing this. I just need to write. We’ll see where it leads shall we :)

My mum and the man that helped conceive me, married when mum was pregnant with me. They divorced not long after. It could have been a year later, perhaps a bit earlier, I’m not sure and I haven’t asked but I do know I was 3 years old when mum married the guy I have called my darling dad for just about forever :)

I didn’t have a great deal of contact with my Father in my younger years, to be honest I can only recall one encounter when I was young, it may have been just after my 10th birthday. The 2nd visit was when I was 18. I do know there was an altercation when I was very young but all came good thanks to some great family :)
I did however have loads of contact with my Aunt T, Uncle D and Grandmother, and I am forever grateful for knowing them and knowing they still accepted my mum and me aswell as my stepdad and my siblings as part of their family. The most special part of being a part of their family is I was born on my Nanna’s birthday :)

My Aunt T and Uncle D made many trips to my hometown to visit us, 2000kms south of their hometown. When I turned 10 my Nanna, aunt, 2 uncles and their partners came to celebrate. When I was 16 and having a party to celebrate my soon to be travels to Germany, Nanna and Aunt T made an appearance. When B3 was born, Uncle D stayed with me for a week. There were many other visits in the space of 25 years but the above were the most memorable. One other memborable visit was from Uncle D. I was younger than 10, still playing with dolls lol and he brought me a baby doll that had a heartbeat. I cherished that doll and still have him, and his heart still beats!

When Uncle D moved overseas we kept in contact via phone. I always wrote handwritten letters to Nanna. One time I sent her a tape recording of me rambling on about my day. I had fun making that :)

As I got older my letters stopped. I sent birthday cards to Nanna, mostly on a regular basis. It wasn’t a birthday I could forget. Life got busy. It’s easy to blame life but it certainly doesn’t sit well. I’ve never been able to travel north to visit them. It’s too far and the finances haven’t been there. I then had my own family and there was absolutely no time or money to make the trip. We were headed there once a couple of years ago but didn’t make it :(

I’ve never once not thought about them all. They were always good to my mum, family and me. Aswell as my own children who Aunt T and Nanna have never met. Not keeping in constant contact as I got older, is I guess, my fault. Perhaps it was my mum who was always on my back to write to Nanna but looking back, I don’t think so. I quite enjoyed writing and telling her about the happenings in my life. I didn’t receive long letters back from Nanna, but a few quick words in a card always came back with love.

Late last year I was blessed to have made contact with my 16 year old stepsister, my father’s daughter, through facebook of all places lol. I’d always known about her. I’d met her on that 2nd visit, she was aged 2. We are slowly getting to know each other. It’s strange knowing I lived 35 minutes away from her 2 years ago. I always thought I saw my Father at the local farmers market one Saturday in their home town but I had no desire to go up to him and make conversation. Perhaps if I did, Em and I would have known each other longer than the 6 months we do now. Anyways it’s no use what if’ing, everything happens for a reason. I do have a stepbrother, Em’s brother. He’s the same age as my B3. I’ve also been told my father had a child to another woman before he met my mum....

Like I said at the beginning of this post, I don’t know where I’m going with this but I now feel I’m done. It seems I’ve started and ended with no rhyme or reason but I just had an urge to write and now feel better for it.

Normal blogging will resume soon :)

Until next time
~x~